This week’s blog was very difficult for me to write. Each time I began to conceptualize a topic, I struggled with the events of the week. The long-planned pilgrimage to India was upon us, so many of the people I see on a regular basis were leaving, there was some conflict between some of my friends, my dog bit a vet tech (and had to be quarantined), my wife’s aunt (whom I love dearly) had a fall and broke all but one of her ribs on the right side, and I struggled with the debate over 2 needed surgeries I will have to have. Needless to say, my mind was full of distractions. I am happy to say (however) that despite the potential for feeling over-whelmed, frustrated, sad, or angry, I was able to maintain a mostly even keel.
I say “mostly even keel”, because after my dog bit a vet tech, the manager of the clinic and I, had a bit of a go-around as she was telling me information that I knew to be wrong in regard to the required course of action. Over and over this person kept repeating incorrect versions what I “had” to do, what was demanded by law,to the point of nausea. Because I had already consulted 2 other vets that I trusted, I knew what she was telling me was not only wrong, but that she really had no clue how thing were to progress. In hind-sight, I know that she was acting out of a need to protect her employee. I know that her emotions created a barrier to her understanding of the law, and the course of action that was required. I did raise my voice with her in order to stop her repetition, which in hind-sight was not needed… It was however, effective, and was a very stark reminder about how I still will become very intense (and somewhat scary) if those I care for are endangered or mistreated. (Our primal attachments pop up when we are tested, get used to it.) Here’s the thing… she was protecting her ward, I was protecting mine, and the good intent on both of our parts was lost in the adversarial nature of our conversation. What should have been a calm discussion without passion, or emotion, degenerated quickly because of misinformation on her part (not entirely intentional), and my absolute refusal to see my dog in a cage for ten days. In the end, what happened, is what I knew would happen (because I sought a calm source of information), and Buddy did not have to spend a week and a half in a cage. He is quarantined… well… if by quarantined you mean playing in the backyard, barking at birds, napping in my chair, or sleeping on my pillow at night… He is indeed sequestered…
Which brings my to the point of this blog.
Sometimes I wonder why it is that we can literally be handed the exact information we need to live our lives in a peaceful, mindful way, yet we constantly chose to ignore that information, and spend every day wading thru the muck of emotional turmoil. We lash out at people, instead of talk, ignore, not embrace, judge, not accept… You would almost think that we actually gain something valuable from creating such negativity…
I submit this to you. We know from a scientific perspective that our brains are wired to survive. Survival is an instinctual drive that is millions of years old, and shared by all living beings, without exception. This is an undisputed fact.
The nature of a survival instinct is to see what is wrong with our environment (our situation), when we sense something that is not “right”, we are biologically pre-programmed to avoid it, or attack it… first. We are not wired to “investigate” first, we are wired to react instantly for the safety of self, and the safety of our pack. Back before fast food, endless entertainment, smart phones, and the 1965 Mustang convertible (red with white interior and top, of course), this instinctive fight, or flight response served us well. We survived, and continue to thrive today as a species.
Fast forward from cave-man brontosaurus burger times, to now… We no longer have to fight to survive (mostly), now… we fight over ideology, individualized rules, personal expectations, desires, and primarily… the ease of which we attain our temporary desires (aka “path of least resistance”). We see any real effort toward attainment, as an obstacle worthy of anger, ire, frustration, sadness… We consider things not pleasing to be worthy of lamentation. When we don’t sense our momentary definition of paradise… we see only a swamp… We continue, and continue, and continue to view simple issues as complex, we worry about what we wear, what we drive, where we live, who works harder, who is more generous, who is more…. looks more… has more…. deserves more… In the absence of a real hardship… we invent hardships…
We basically have a prehistoric instinctive drive hard coded within us, that is designed to strike out… the problem is… this drive is no longer needed for 99.999+% of our daily lives. We don’t have to kill to eat, we don’t have to battle for a mate, we no longer have to worry about invading tribes (on an individual level), BUT… A survival instinct that may only be needed a handful of times in our life-time has been given a permanent seat in our daily lives. When we don’t get what we want, we allow ourselves to do and say things to others that we’d never accept for ourselves.
Case in point: The Navy has a series of tests for those wishing to join their specialized combat force. Each of these tests can be physically grueling beyond belief. A typical training event can last for hours to a week, or more. Instructors will stress the student’s body, and mind beyond normal limits, to the point of passing out, injury, even death. What most people don’t realize is that no matter how tough the exercise is, no matter how much someone bleeds, the instructors could care less how the trainees manage physically. Physical stamina, and strength can be built. The trait that is sought in a trainee, is mental toughness. An inherent refusal to quit, a mindset that refuses to succumb to the self-doubt, and desire for “easy” that makes us mentally weak. The most physically fit Navy Seal team member is no good to his team, if under extreme duress, he grows frustrated, loses his cool, or quits. What the cadres are looking for, is someone who despite the mental pressures, can calmly remain focused, and complete the task.
My point is simply this… elite combatants are those men and women who do not succumb to the noise, and chaos of their surroundings. Though they are truly in life-or-death situations, they make a mental decision to focus on the moment, and on the task… They purposefully choose, to remain calm and focused. If a human being can do this under fire, where they have very real reasons to run… if they can intentionally, and consistently make this choice… Why don’t we? Why do we, whose biggest issue of the day might be that someone said something mean to us, or cut us off in traffic, choose to become emotional, and fight (either within ourselves, or directly with others)?
I can tell you from this past week, that not being emotionally bogged down with the possible negatives of this past week, and truly looking for the whole picture saved me a lot of negativity, allowed me to recover from the anger with the vets office, and ultimately led me to a lot more positives that I expected.
All I’m saying is that before you become unhappy about the expanse of a swamp, appreciate the beauty and true nature of the experience. See the life, feel the water, smell the air, appreciate that no matter the task ahead, you will be fine, and all roadblocks are temporary.
Namo Buddhaya friends, have a wonderful week